Being a wife

Its been so long since I have written here, no one will read this!! :) Its okay. Life has been more than busy and even though I go to read Shannon's blog, I just don't take the time to write on mine. I'll try to catch up.

Duane is coming home for Thanksgiving!! I am so excited to have him home. Its interesting. I miss him so very much; more than most people know. I was telling this to a friend of mine; about how much I miss Duane and how excited I was to have him coming home, and she looked at me and said, "But don't you love it too? Love it that he is away and you don't have to be "the wife" everyday?" She went on to explain that she was happiest when her husband was traveling because she and the kids could kick back and relax. Mac and Cheese was a good enough dinner for them. But the truth is "No." I love being a wife everyday. I love having someone to share my life with. I love having someone to cuddle with when I go to sleep. I love waking up in the middle of the night knowing I am not alone. If I have a bad dream, I can roll over and take comfort in his presence even if I don't wake him up to tell him how bad the dream was. I have to get up in the morning first and I love the way we play before I actually get out of bed; him teasing me about how he gets to "sleep in" or trying to push me out of bed so he can get the "warm spots". There is so much I miss when he is gone like this. I understand what Nancy was saying, but, still the answer is "no".

I am taking next week off school. We have Wednesday off anyway but I am taking Monday and Tuesday. Its been stressful at school, Duane is home, it is Thanksgiving week...I want a break. Then I will have about 4 weeks until Winter Break. That should be a pretty busy time too but different busy. By then, college classes will be finished and I will have my A.T. Specialist Certificate. I remember last year, thinking that it would be a relief to have it done but knowing I had a whole year to go. Now, here I am...I love that it will be over and I won't have to feel guilty for not doing homework at night!!

Okay..gotta do a few more things and then I am off to work. I hope, if anyone reads this, that you have a good day too!!!

Yesterday afternoon, I sat in a really bad IEP meeting. The child is a non verbal child and the mother wants him to talk. Unfortunately this child is 7 years old and will say random words but nothing consistent except for ball and no. I started down the augmentative communication system last spring and at first mom was against it but then got on a bandwagon and wanted the DDD system to buy the device like yesterday. She has been hounding them unmercifully. But she is spouting that the child has made no progress and will make no progress until he talks out loud to her. He doesn't talk of course because the schools have not done their job and the only answer to that is to make them do their jobs by requesting more intensive speech/language services while also increasing his academic goals. (One on one therapy in our own little room is her ideal speech/language solution.) She stated that she has been paying $200.00 an hour to a private therapist that she would not name and they have not been able to make him talk either but that is not the private therapist's job....it is the job of the school. I asked for progress reports from the private therapist but she "doesn't know where they are"...hmmmm like maybe there aren't any??? She also stated that his Rehabilitation Counselors (para professionals who have a minimal college education or who have passed a state test) also say he needs at least an hour more speech per week. I asked, "Oh are these habilitation counselors licensed speech/language pathologists?" and she looks at me and deadpans, "I don't know." We all know they are not. She also states that DDD will not provide speech/language therapists to her. My thought is that there are DDD SLP's out there but she makes their lives so hard, they will not work with him. This ordeal is not over as we left the meeting with the parent and the lawyer asking for another evaluation so we'll see where this lands. I do know that I can leave that school and pick up a different school if that is what is needed. And believe me, I just might.

This meeting was just the icing on the cake for a bad week. It has been hard emotionally, physically and any other way you want to name. I am not sure why but I am so glad it is over. I will regroup on the weekend and then hit Monday with new energy!!!

Gotta go in to work...Later.

Its been forever

Its been forever since I posted here. Things are busy and I am glad. For as much as I complain about being busy, I have found that "busy" actually helps to balance my world. That helps when things get stressed.

Duane and I have to buy a new car. I hate car buying. Tell me you are going to rip my fingernails out and I might actually let you over having to go buy a new car. We have test driven a Ford Escape and I rented one when I was in Missouri. I really like it as cars go. It is probably not my first choice but I am trying to be practical. Duane has the Fit back East and I need something I can haul things in. My Audi just doesn't cut it. I am also looking for something that has a lower payment than the Audi, takes regular gas instead of premium and doesn't cost me $90.00 to get an oil change!! This car meets those qualifications. Last night I was the go between Duane and the car salesman. When it was all over, I was so stressed, I had hives. But it looks like the Escape will be ours by the end of the day unless I like the CRV that I have been told to test drive.

College is on the back burner right now and I know I am going to pay for that. This weekend I really have to sit down and do some major work on my portfolio and on getting that survey out to teachers so my capstone project can be in on time. The weather is perfect and I can tell you, it is going to be rough to have to make the other stuff a priority.

But for now, I am off to work. It is going to be a busy day!!

Later!

I write these in the morning when I don't really have much time. I did get up a little earlier today so I have a few moments.

On Thursday night, I will be on my way to Missouri to see Shannon, Chris and Alyssa. I am so excited to see them. Shannon and I have talked on Skype a few times and I have gotten to see Alyssa crawl. That has been so fun. But the most fun of all is when Alyssa spots me on the computer screen and smiles at me. That just warms my heart so much and I just want to reach through the screen and pick her up and play with her. I know Shannon is somewhat stressed because Alyssa isn't sleeping through the night yet but I look at that little girl and think how happy and healthy she looks. Teething is hard time in a baby and parent's life and that is also in their near future. But all the same, its something that has to be gone through and 99.9% survive it.

I am also going to see my parents. I am not looking forward to that so much. I think things will be fine but I am realizing as time gets closer to being there that I am not truly over what they did to me this summer. I am getting really irritated with Charla too because the last couple of times she has gone to Mom and Dad's she hasn't called me to let me know how things are going. Last night when I was talking to her, she said something about being tired and I told her that it is what she wanted. I told her that she let the folks set it up so they relied only on her and that she was getting what that presentation did. She likes it that they rely on her and not on anyone else. She likes it that everyone calls her to find out how Mom and Dad are doing. But just wait. Once Mom and Dad are more work or they have passed, she will become the martyr. The only one who took care of the folks; the only one who did anything significant for them. She will claim that Craig and I just swooped in and swooped out for very short time frames and she was the one doing all the work. And she will be right but not because Craig and I wanted it that way but because that is the way she set it up.

School is busy. College is busy. (Thank goodness it is my last semester!) I miss Duane. Its going to rain!! I love that. Random thoughts but the most organized thought is that I have to get out of here and head for work!! Later!

Its Friday. Thank goodness!! Not only is it Friday; it is payday Friday. Don't know why I felt so relieved when I saw that money in my account this morning but I did. Of course, I have to transfer some to our joint checking account, but I will do that tomorrow.

I'm sad. One of my favorite teachers has resigned. She has been dealing with some very difficult parents and finally one looked at her after an hour long meeting and said, "You knew my son was coming to you all summer long and you did nothing to prepare for him." Now, Dee had this boy last year. He is autistic and has some very challenging behaviors. She lost one para who called her and said, "Dee, I love you and your classroom but I can't face another year with C." Many people feel that way about C. But not Dee. She loves this boy. She does everything in her power to make school work for him and then she gets slammed like that. But this is only one parent of about 5 who has given her so much grief in the last two weeks. She just couldn't take it anymore. Now I worry for the kids, the status of that classroom and frankly for me. Dee and I were a good team. Now I am not sure what will happen. We have two weeks before she is gone so we'll see how it all works out.

Later

Its Thursday. I am ready for the weekend. I want to be able to sleep in and not worry anything. I won't have to clean house cuz I am having JoAnn clean it tomorrow. That means I can cross stitch, read, do school work, whatever without the need to also clean the house. It is in pretty good shape because I cleaned it Sunday but it never hurts to have it done again!

School is going well but I am looking forward to my first days off. I'll have 5 as I am going to Missouri over Labor Day. So, its not the lazy around the house days off but still it isn't school.

Gotta run

Even more sure Sarah was in the house on Monday. Michael got into the cookies on my computer and found that the person on my computer was researching how to get the most from the client. How to approach them, smooze them so to speak. Who else but Sarah? And as Michael said, if it had been anyone else my laptops would have been gone!!! Don't have tine to write more...early morning meeting today..gotta run!