I was going to blog away about things that have happened since the last time I blogged but I just read my daughter's post and it got me to thinking about the strong women in my family. I'll start with my Grandma Shores.
Grandma Shores (Irene Thrailkill Shores) was a farm girl. Her parents were wealthy by the standards of the day, owning several hundred acres of land in Clark, Missouri. She had 2 sisters and all 3 girls were the talk of the town as each of them were beautiful in their own rights. My grandma walked to school everyday with her second or third cousin, my grandfather. As time went on they fell in love and decided to marry. By her wedding day, she was in a family way with my Aunt Christine. Of course, her reputation suffered by this occurrence but she and my grandfather went on with the wedding. My grandparents did very well for themselves. They bought their own farm and started to raise their own cattle. They had a son soon after their daughter was born and then they waited several years before they had another daughter and a couple of years later a son, my father. They loved the farm and their lives and they had the world by the tail. Then in the mid 1930's the stock market crashed and my grandfather lost his farm and all of his cattle. They were basically homeless and they only had what they could take out of their house that they didn't owe something on. They found a house to rent and my grandfather found a job selling coal. He would walk the streets of Clark with a little wagon selling coal. While he was doing that, my grandmother was keeping her house and her family together. She milked cows, gathered eggs, made biscuits, sewed clothes, and held it all together. It took them several years of living this way and then finally Grandpa got a job with the post office. Grandma faced a lot of adversity in her life and yet she was able to overcome all that life threw at her. She lived to the ripe old age of 96.
Then there was my Grandma Truby. Her life was really very nice until she was 18. At 18 she fell in love with my Grandpa. He was a fun loving bad boy...drinking, smoking, dancing, hanging out with lots of guys and girls. I am not sure but I think Grandma was attracted to the "bad boy" type but she had no idea what she was getting herself into. She and Grandpa married and a year later their first child, a boy, was born. He was a "blue baby"and she was told that he wouldn't live a year. For the first year of his life, she constantly thought that each day would be his last. In spite of the predictions, he thrived and all was good that way. However, my grandfather loved the drink and when he drank, he was mean. He would yell, throw things, curse, break things...the only thing that he didn't do is beat his family. There were stories of how Grandpa would take Grandma, who didn't drive, to town to buy supplies, and on the way home, he would decide he was thirsty and would stop at a tavern to get "just one drink". That might be at 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Grandma would stay in the truck with the three kids and still be in the truck at 2 or so in the morning while Grandpa boozed it up and danced with any woman in the tavern who would dance with him. When Grandpa was sober, apparently he was the kindest, hardest working man with the greatest sense of humor you could ask for. When he was drunk, he was the meanest bastard ever put on the Earth. When I was born, when Grandpa was 52 years old, he decided he would never touch alcohol again. Unfortunately, for him and Grandma, that was too late. He already had prostrate cancer which wasn't diagnosed for several more years and he died at 57. He left Grandma with a very small railroad pension and his social security check. This woman never complained about her life. She found silver linings in everything much to my amazement. She could have been bitter about the life that was hers, but instead, she found joy in the simple things. As an adult, I asked her once why she stayed with Grandpa when he was so awful to her while drunk and all she said was, "I don't remember or dwell on the bad times. Our lives were filled with good times too and those are what I remember." Life knocked her around in ways I am not sure I would or could have survived and yet, she was and always will be my inspiration.
My mom was also a strong woman. She really didn't have a lot of "horrible" things to deal with in her life other than growing up with my grandfather. However, her final years were no walk in the park. She had a spinal cord infarction on June 19, 2009, and that left her in a wheelchair. Her faith and hope that she would walk again never wavered. Even 3 weeks before she passed away, she told me how she was going to cook for me when she could stand up again. My mom's spirit was one of great determination and drive. Whatever Mom wanted she was bound and determined to get; and she usually did.
Now, I look at my daughter. This bright light in my heart, in my life, in my world. She married the love of her life at 20, had her first child at 24 and her second at 26. Being so close together, there was no doubt that the children would keep her busy. But, when teaching didn't work out for her, did she lie down and cry? Nope, she got herself together and opened her own daycare. Within months, she needed a helper and within a year, they needed a substitute /part time helper. Then they were able to open a day care in a church and she did it almost single handedly while her partner was battling her own health issues. She did all that while coping with her second child's ongoing health problems too. There are days when she feels overwhelmed and hopeless because the doctors either can't agree on treatments for Colin or they throw their hands up and admit they have no answers. But does she hang her head and cry? No! She keeps pushing, knowing that she HAS to find an answer for her son. Now her husband is going to be sent to a distant job site with his work. She will have to keep her business going, raise two children and stay on top of her son's health issues alone while Chris is away. But I know that she has the genetic makeup that will allow her to succeed. Like my grandmothers she will find her way through and around this maze we call life. When it is done and someone asks her how she did it, she will be like my Grandma Truby who remembered only the good times and put the hard/bad times behind her. She comes from a long line of good women and she is a proud reflection of what they have left to her.
