Its a little after 11:00 p.m. and I am thinking of bed. I feel pretty good tonight...not dead tired like last night. I've had a very good day. Didn't get as much done as I had planned but I did get the research done for the paper I have to have written by Friday night. I read through the articles tonight and have some ideas that I would like to have perculate in my brain. I'll probably actually start writing the paper tomorrow night and hope to have it done by Friday. I should.
The Discoverture Team has been sent home; all except for Duane of course. It is such a compliment that they asked him to stay but so hard on him to be there by himself again. Even though he didn't see his fellow workers on the weekends or evenings, they were there working beside him during the day. Now they are all on their way home. He doesn't know how long he will be staying. His boss is not going to let him stay there on the cheap. The company was expecting to make money on this project and after paying $4000 for 5 people to attend a two week training, after putting out thousands of dollars for the guys to lease apartments, after building expenses budgets, the company says, "oops, jumped the gun too fast. go home. we are sorry for 'interrupting' your life" I doubt that they let Duane go cheap. The company may not want to pay Discoverture's asking price and Duane may be on his way home sooner than he expects. I wouldn't mind if he came home sooner rather than later. It is lonely here without him and the dogs miss getting their treats.
I know as soon as Duane walks in the door, Buster will run to the pantry and ask Duane for a treat. I don't think I have given them a single one since Duane has left. That was always Duane's thing; not mine. When I am near the pantry the dogs don't even lift there heads to figure out what I am getting out. They would probably all faint if I got out the treats.
I think a storm is coming our way. I thought it was going to miss us but now I am not so sure. I should go outside and put shock in the pool before it gets bad. I am going into my office tomorrow to get some things done. Hard to believe school is going to start in a week and a half. But what I have learned is that the school year goes faster every year!!
Okay...shock the pool and then call it a night!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Coffee
I didn't start drinking coffee until I was 51 years old. Even with that, sometimes I only drink a half a cup. I have to put Splenda and milk or coffee creamer in it to drink it but I can drink it that way. Here's the really scary thing. Now my day just doesn't start right unless I have my coffee. What will I start doing next?? Having a cigarette too??? Oh heaven help me!!!!
I woke up last night with my left wrist just throbbing. I must have lain on it wrong because it was swollen and when I put it up on Duane's pillow to elevate it, it felt like it did when I was having surgery on it. It felt like the muscles were moving and my fingers were moving involuntarily. I had to get up and take some Alieve because it hurt so badly. Luckily for me, this morning, it is better.
Today is an anniversary. It was one year ago today that Shannon told me that she was having a baby. Now we have Alyssa in our lives. What a blessing she is!! I have to admit that I never get enough of her. I love holding her, smiling at her, talking to her, watching her, playing with her and hearing her laugh. I don't even remember what life was like before Alyssa was born. All I know is they grow up way too soon. I always think of that when I hear the country music song, "You're gonna want that back". Its a song about how this girl wants to grow up and she does. But people keep telling her not to look so far into the future that she misses what she has right now because "these are the best times of your life and you're gonna want this back".
Today they move Mom from Rusk Rehab to Heritage. I know it will be easier on Dad to have Mom right there in Centralia. I do hope the quality of her therapy is good. I hope she makes some more progress there. Getting stronger is the only way Mom can come home.
Okay..gonna call Charla to see what she knows.
I woke up last night with my left wrist just throbbing. I must have lain on it wrong because it was swollen and when I put it up on Duane's pillow to elevate it, it felt like it did when I was having surgery on it. It felt like the muscles were moving and my fingers were moving involuntarily. I had to get up and take some Alieve because it hurt so badly. Luckily for me, this morning, it is better.
Today is an anniversary. It was one year ago today that Shannon told me that she was having a baby. Now we have Alyssa in our lives. What a blessing she is!! I have to admit that I never get enough of her. I love holding her, smiling at her, talking to her, watching her, playing with her and hearing her laugh. I don't even remember what life was like before Alyssa was born. All I know is they grow up way too soon. I always think of that when I hear the country music song, "You're gonna want that back". Its a song about how this girl wants to grow up and she does. But people keep telling her not to look so far into the future that she misses what she has right now because "these are the best times of your life and you're gonna want this back".
Today they move Mom from Rusk Rehab to Heritage. I know it will be easier on Dad to have Mom right there in Centralia. I do hope the quality of her therapy is good. I hope she makes some more progress there. Getting stronger is the only way Mom can come home.
Okay..gonna call Charla to see what she knows.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
For years I have heard about My Space and Facebook. "Its for the kids" has been my thought. A social networking kind of thing that had its ups and downs like anything else. Lately, though, I have heard from more and more of my friends and my husband how Facebook is for anyone. I just kinda blew it off. Then Duane developed his Facebook page. I didn't think much about it. Sometimes that is the way he connects with his children rather than using the phone or email; so I just didn't think much about it. Then Shannon posted pictures of her California trip on her Facebook page. I wanted to see them so I thought...."Oh I'll just develop my own page so I can see her pictures". When I did this, I thought it would be a fleeting thing. Oh My Gosh!! Yesterday was my first real day on Facebook and I have reconnected with many of my old college friends and several of my high school friends. People have contacted me and I have contacted people. I have gone from thinking I would have only 1 or 2 friends to having a list of 11 people in one day. And one of those 11 people had more people for me to contact. I was amazed. I do see how people can become addicted and honestly, I can't let that happen to me because I have too much to do to sit around checking out my facebook page. I'll probably do it in the morning and then again in the evening but all of those posts in between will just have to wait.
Duane is coming home in two weeks. Two weeks from today at this time, I should have him in the car!! I can hardly wait. But for today, I have to work on my college classes and get those tests and projects at least started. So, here's to closing this and opening my books!!!
Smiles.
Duane is coming home in two weeks. Two weeks from today at this time, I should have him in the car!! I can hardly wait. But for today, I have to work on my college classes and get those tests and projects at least started. So, here's to closing this and opening my books!!!
Smiles.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The month is flying by!! Soon we will be back to school and living regular schedules again. I love my summer breaks. I love not having to get up to do anything but feed dogs and I love lounging in my pajamas (or swimsuit) until I feel like taking a shower. I just love summertimes!!
But even with all that being said, I guess I will enjoy going back to school too. I like my job. I like the people I work with. I like my kids and it is always fun to see how they have grown and changed over the summer. Once the heat dies down, school is actually a steadying influence on my life.
Mom is leaving rehab on Friday and going to Heritage to continue work on building strength. I am relieved she isn't going straight home and very glad that Dad doesn't have to drive to Columbia every day of the week. I do hope that we can get Mom home. I know that would be the best thing in the world for her psychologically as well as Dad. They will need to find a new "normal" and I think that can be done.
Duane is coming home!!! I am so excited for this visit of his. It is good that we can talk on Skype every night but seeing him in person is going to be wonderful. Sometimes I have to roll my eyes at something he says or something he does, but I cannot tell you how lonely I get here without him. I mean, after all, rolling your eyes at the dogs really does not have the same effect at all!!
It is so hot here. This is the time of the year that I just die. I don't want to go outside at all! But like all things, the heat will pass and we will be into the fall and winter. The year passes so quickly now. It seems like just yesterday that it was January. Now it is July. And the middle of July at that!! Everything has its season is so true.
Okay..off to cross stitching for a little bit before getting in the pool. Did I tell you that I loved summertime????
But even with all that being said, I guess I will enjoy going back to school too. I like my job. I like the people I work with. I like my kids and it is always fun to see how they have grown and changed over the summer. Once the heat dies down, school is actually a steadying influence on my life.
Mom is leaving rehab on Friday and going to Heritage to continue work on building strength. I am relieved she isn't going straight home and very glad that Dad doesn't have to drive to Columbia every day of the week. I do hope that we can get Mom home. I know that would be the best thing in the world for her psychologically as well as Dad. They will need to find a new "normal" and I think that can be done.
Duane is coming home!!! I am so excited for this visit of his. It is good that we can talk on Skype every night but seeing him in person is going to be wonderful. Sometimes I have to roll my eyes at something he says or something he does, but I cannot tell you how lonely I get here without him. I mean, after all, rolling your eyes at the dogs really does not have the same effect at all!!
It is so hot here. This is the time of the year that I just die. I don't want to go outside at all! But like all things, the heat will pass and we will be into the fall and winter. The year passes so quickly now. It seems like just yesterday that it was January. Now it is July. And the middle of July at that!! Everything has its season is so true.
Okay..off to cross stitching for a little bit before getting in the pool. Did I tell you that I loved summertime????
Monday, July 6, 2009
Monday
Its Monday and I am leaving in a little bit to go have breakfast with Vina. We are going to The Place. It is a restaurant that is owned by the people from up in Flagstaff (Mike and Rhonda). I thought since Vina likes to eat breakfast out best of all that this might be something nice for her.
The weekend was pretty quiet as Fourth of July weekends go. There were some major fireworks on the street for about 20 minutes (which, of course sent Mayer into tail spins) but then it quieted down.
I am beginning to wonder about the people across the street. They used to be the wild ones on the street. However, I haven't seen the lady in so long that I have forgotten the last time I saw her out and about. The guy she was living with must work nights because I see his car has been moved several times but I seldom see him. I think the last time I saw him was the end of April or the first of May. She had 3 boys that were constantly playing in the street. I have only seen the youngest one every now and then but never the older two. In fact, the last time I saw the older two was when they were on their way to school in March or April. Yesterday when I cam home from Vina's two younger people came out of the house and climbed into a red car and drove away. It was the first time I had ever seen them. You may think I am nosy but the difference in the house in the last two years is like night and day. Just weird.
I know on my last post I was really down on Mom and Dad. My feelings are still very hurt but I am regaining some perspective. The relationships are what they are. They will go the way they will go. I have spoken to both of them since the post and they seem to be doing well. Mom only has 12 more days at Rusk and then we will see where this takes her.
Duane is hoping to come home the last week of July. We are trying to find a way for him to come home without having to use vacation days. The last week of July, he is supposed to be involved in an audit with Discoverture. He was supposed to do it via phone conferences but he is hoping to get the company to pay for him to come home...him to go into the office 4 hours a day and work on his project for Canada in the afternoons and be home all week long that way. It sure would be nice to have him here. That would be my last week before school started but it would be so nice to have him around again. To be honest, sometimes I am so bored here by myself. I still haven't found a routine and at this stage of the game, I may not!!
Okay...a few more things to do and then I am off to have breakfast. Have a good day, dear follower!!!
Smiles.
The weekend was pretty quiet as Fourth of July weekends go. There were some major fireworks on the street for about 20 minutes (which, of course sent Mayer into tail spins) but then it quieted down.
I am beginning to wonder about the people across the street. They used to be the wild ones on the street. However, I haven't seen the lady in so long that I have forgotten the last time I saw her out and about. The guy she was living with must work nights because I see his car has been moved several times but I seldom see him. I think the last time I saw him was the end of April or the first of May. She had 3 boys that were constantly playing in the street. I have only seen the youngest one every now and then but never the older two. In fact, the last time I saw the older two was when they were on their way to school in March or April. Yesterday when I cam home from Vina's two younger people came out of the house and climbed into a red car and drove away. It was the first time I had ever seen them. You may think I am nosy but the difference in the house in the last two years is like night and day. Just weird.
I know on my last post I was really down on Mom and Dad. My feelings are still very hurt but I am regaining some perspective. The relationships are what they are. They will go the way they will go. I have spoken to both of them since the post and they seem to be doing well. Mom only has 12 more days at Rusk and then we will see where this takes her.
Duane is hoping to come home the last week of July. We are trying to find a way for him to come home without having to use vacation days. The last week of July, he is supposed to be involved in an audit with Discoverture. He was supposed to do it via phone conferences but he is hoping to get the company to pay for him to come home...him to go into the office 4 hours a day and work on his project for Canada in the afternoons and be home all week long that way. It sure would be nice to have him here. That would be my last week before school started but it would be so nice to have him around again. To be honest, sometimes I am so bored here by myself. I still haven't found a routine and at this stage of the game, I may not!!
Okay...a few more things to do and then I am off to have breakfast. Have a good day, dear follower!!!
Smiles.
Friday, July 3, 2009
I'm sad
It has been a rough two days for me. Yesterday, I was all set to attend the conference call from Rusk regarding Mom's progress and therapies. About a half hour before the call was to happen, the social worker called me and told me that Mom was insisting that I not be allowed to attend this conference. By Hippa laws, they had to honor her wishes. I was taken aback but certainly understand the constraints the medical community is under. I asked if she could let me know how the conference went and she said she would ask Mom and Dad if she could report to me. If they said it was okay, she would let me know.
About two hours later, she called me and let me know what had been discussed. Right after I got off the phone with her, Charla called. She also told me everything that the social worker had said. I didn't say anything about already knowing because I figured Dad had called her and let her know what was up. But as the conversation progressed, she told me that she had attended the conference call. Apparently, Trish, the social worker, insisted that another family member be present and so they said to call Charla. It was a public humiliation. I cried all day. It would be like me being sick and one of my children being there to help and I say..."No. Not them. Call the other child." I was sick to my stomach and still am if the truth be known.
After I talked to Duane on Skype, I felt better. Today has been better. But I just got off the phone with Dad. I told him I didn't appreciate it. He got all worked up, started to cry and pray to God like the world had collapsed on him. I am sorry, but I couldn't be sorry for him. He has allowed Mom to treat me like crap all my life and just when I let my guard down, it happens again. I've had it with this. It makes me sick that I am treated the way I am. I am going to fade from the family. I am not going to call or reach out to them anymore. If they want me around, they will have to come looking for me. After tonight, I am sure that won't be often and that is okay with me. I never thought I would say this about my parents or siblings. I never saw this coming; especially after the last few years when things had been so much better with my mother. Guess the joke is on me, huh?
About two hours later, she called me and let me know what had been discussed. Right after I got off the phone with her, Charla called. She also told me everything that the social worker had said. I didn't say anything about already knowing because I figured Dad had called her and let her know what was up. But as the conversation progressed, she told me that she had attended the conference call. Apparently, Trish, the social worker, insisted that another family member be present and so they said to call Charla. It was a public humiliation. I cried all day. It would be like me being sick and one of my children being there to help and I say..."No. Not them. Call the other child." I was sick to my stomach and still am if the truth be known.
After I talked to Duane on Skype, I felt better. Today has been better. But I just got off the phone with Dad. I told him I didn't appreciate it. He got all worked up, started to cry and pray to God like the world had collapsed on him. I am sorry, but I couldn't be sorry for him. He has allowed Mom to treat me like crap all my life and just when I let my guard down, it happens again. I've had it with this. It makes me sick that I am treated the way I am. I am going to fade from the family. I am not going to call or reach out to them anymore. If they want me around, they will have to come looking for me. After tonight, I am sure that won't be often and that is okay with me. I never thought I would say this about my parents or siblings. I never saw this coming; especially after the last few years when things had been so much better with my mother. Guess the joke is on me, huh?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I'm Home
Today has been a busy day. I got up fairly early and called the social worker at Mom's hospital. She told me that Medicare would only allow 23 days of rehab from June 25th. That kinda scared me because I knew Mom would not be ready to go home after 23 days. Come to find out they will transfer her to a Skilled Nursing Facility (nursing home) after those days for more rehab and then hopefully back to Rusk for another 20 days before releasing her to go home or to whereever they place her.
Dad said today that she has bowel control for sure but that is not so. They have been giving her things to help her move her bowels and they are pretty sure she does not have bladder control. She is still requiring maximum assistance for everything. It was a discouraging telephone call but one that needed to be put out there. Tomorrow's conference call between me, the folks and the hospital folks will not be pleasant, I am sure. Its going to be an uncomfortable reality check for the folks.
Being home has been busy too. I have the dogs at Petsmart being groomed right now so they will be home in a bit. I have cleaned the pool. I have thought about getting dinner but have not done so yet. Guess I should get to that soon.
I'll write more tomorrow I hope. I think I will have some more time then.
Dad said today that she has bowel control for sure but that is not so. They have been giving her things to help her move her bowels and they are pretty sure she does not have bladder control. She is still requiring maximum assistance for everything. It was a discouraging telephone call but one that needed to be put out there. Tomorrow's conference call between me, the folks and the hospital folks will not be pleasant, I am sure. Its going to be an uncomfortable reality check for the folks.
Being home has been busy too. I have the dogs at Petsmart being groomed right now so they will be home in a bit. I have cleaned the pool. I have thought about getting dinner but have not done so yet. Guess I should get to that soon.
I'll write more tomorrow I hope. I think I will have some more time then.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)