I'm sad

It has been a rough two days for me. Yesterday, I was all set to attend the conference call from Rusk regarding Mom's progress and therapies. About a half hour before the call was to happen, the social worker called me and told me that Mom was insisting that I not be allowed to attend this conference. By Hippa laws, they had to honor her wishes. I was taken aback but certainly understand the constraints the medical community is under. I asked if she could let me know how the conference went and she said she would ask Mom and Dad if she could report to me. If they said it was okay, she would let me know.

About two hours later, she called me and let me know what had been discussed. Right after I got off the phone with her, Charla called. She also told me everything that the social worker had said. I didn't say anything about already knowing because I figured Dad had called her and let her know what was up. But as the conversation progressed, she told me that she had attended the conference call. Apparently, Trish, the social worker, insisted that another family member be present and so they said to call Charla. It was a public humiliation. I cried all day. It would be like me being sick and one of my children being there to help and I say..."No. Not them. Call the other child." I was sick to my stomach and still am if the truth be known.

After I talked to Duane on Skype, I felt better. Today has been better. But I just got off the phone with Dad. I told him I didn't appreciate it. He got all worked up, started to cry and pray to God like the world had collapsed on him. I am sorry, but I couldn't be sorry for him. He has allowed Mom to treat me like crap all my life and just when I let my guard down, it happens again. I've had it with this. It makes me sick that I am treated the way I am. I am going to fade from the family. I am not going to call or reach out to them anymore. If they want me around, they will have to come looking for me. After tonight, I am sure that won't be often and that is okay with me. I never thought I would say this about my parents or siblings. I never saw this coming; especially after the last few years when things had been so much better with my mother. Guess the joke is on me, huh?