Duane is watching tv and for some reason I am just not in the mood for it; thus, here I am writing.

I went to Missouri the end of March to spend some time with my dad.  I was able to spend part of the weekend with Shannon and her family.  As always, I had a blast with the kids but Chris got sick and was in bed most of the weekend I was there.  Thank goodness I was there because that allowed him to rest, assured that the children were taken care of and it also allowed Shannon to do the things that she had scheduled before I decided that I was going to Missouri.

On Sunday, Shannon, the kids and I went to Centralia.  I knew things were not good as soon as I laid eyes on Dad.  He has become very frail and he was very very quiet.  It is hard to know if he was quiet because he was overwhelmed, his hearing loss is worse, or if he couldn't follow the conversations.  Alyssa and Colin were as good as gold.  They played with each other and tried to interact with Dad a little.  They weren't quite sure why they were going home and I was staying but they dealt well with it all.

After they left, I had two and a half days with Dad.  He slept a lot, he repeated conversations over and over, he smoked with his oxygen on, and he never fixed himself bacon and eggs for breakfast.  He also has stopped believing the calendar.  He will look at it and think that there has been a conversation that "changed" what is written.  When I pointed out to him that was not true, he was sure I was wrong.   I talked to him of moving out of the house. At first he was very defensive but then he started to talk to me about it.  He thinks because he gets up in the morning, gets dressed and fixes himself food, that he is okay to be there.  He doesn't see that the life he has is really no life at all.  Its almost like being in a home of some sort but without the people.  I spoke to him about how unsafe it was to smoke with his oxygen on and his response was, "It isn't if you are careful."  That statement scared me too!

I spoke to Charla about Dad on two different occasions and she is all for keeping him in the house "as long as she can".  It scares me to think that this is how it is going to be for him.  She is pretty convinced that if he is sleeping, he is safe in the house.  She says he still "has his mind" and it would take a lawyer to get him out of the house.  Her solution is to wait until he is hospitalized and then when the doctor/social worker/ someone says he can't go back home, then we will place him somewhere...She stated that this is how it was done for Grandma and Mom.  She thinks that is how it will be done for Dad too.

By the time I left Dad's I was sick.  I had strep throat, ear infection and a sinus infection.  I didn't know that for several days but missed my first two days back to school because of it.  I still haven't gotten completely over it.  I still have a sore throat and a cough.  I've been back to a doctor but now she feels that it is a virus.  Let's hope I can get over it soon because I am pretty tired of this silly illness.  Unfortunately, Duane may be coming down with it now.

And finally, my oldest baby turned 30 yesterday.  Its hard to believe that she has entered her third decade.  I can not even begin to put in words how proud of her I am.  She is a fabulous mother and wife, she is a successful business owner, and a person that brings joy to so many.  For me, she is a person who has brought me so many blessings that I no longer can keep track of them.  I am very grateful that God has allowed me the privilege of being Shannon's mother.  I can imagine no other daughter as wonderful as her.

Well, that's all for now...:)