Summer is Over!

Each year my summer goes faster and faster.  Its crazy how that happens.

Summer started out very well.  In May, Duane and I bought a 2014 Corvette Stingray.  We bought it just a few months earlier than we had planned to buy a sports car....we were really aiming for October but Duane saw this car, they told him they weren't going to build Stingrays in the fall, and it was exactly what he was looking for.  So we purchased it.

  I have to say it is a bittersweet purchase for me; sweet because it is the car of Duane's dreams and it is good to see him having so much fun with it; bitter because I really wanted the bills paid off.  As it is, I have become a little unmotivated to finish getting the original bills paid off because I am trying to see how this payment is going to impact our monthly money.  We have made one payment and the next one is scheduled. I think by the end of August we should be figuring it all out and then my goal for the next nine months is to pay off the bills.  But I have digressed from my summer discussion!!!

So we started off our summer vacation by taking our anniversary trip to San Antonio.  It was a fabulous vacation.  We were right on the RiverWalk and we did lots of things in the full day we were there.  We took the boat ride, we walked along the river walk and we went to dinner at this awesome top of the tower place.  It wasn't a long trip there, but it was a good one.  From San Antonio we drove to Shannon and Chris' house.

We were in Illinois only one night together and then Duane flew home to Arizona.  I stayed and hung out with the kids for a week.  Every morning Shannon would take the kids to daycare and then I would pick them up right after their nap.  On the first and second day, I picked up both of the kids, on Wednesday, I picked up Alyssa and we went to get donuts and get our nails done.  She loves having her manicures and pedicures!  She was starving for donuts and wanted to surprise her mom and dad with donuts the next morning so we went to the special donut place in town and got some for everyone.  On Thursday, I picked up Colin and we went shopping.  He really doesn't have a "special thing to do yet" so we went to Target and Kohl's.  We bought a Shark for Shannon and Chris' anniversary.  On Friday, Shannon and I went to lunch together and then I was off to Dad's house and the Knights' were off to the Lake of the Ozarks.

The week with my dad was better than it had been in March but he has still declined.  He has no business living in that house by himself but I can't seem to convince anyone.I have given up trying to very hard but it is how I feel.  He continues to repeat his conversations, doesn't remember much especially if he hasn't been wearing his oxygen which he thinks of as a "crutch".  He thinks of his medications as a "crutch" as well even though I tried to convince him that without the medication he would not be able to be at home at all.  He tried to convince me that he never slept during the day and that the only reason he was doing it while I was there was because I had done everything he normally would do on his own and he was "bored" by having nothing to do.  I never made mention of all the times that I had called him and he had been sleeping in the middle of the day.  He also accused me of doing things I had not done such as losing Charla's birthday card or moving mail around.  All in all, though, it was a good week and I was glad that I was there.  On Father's Day, we met the Knights at Kingdom City for a Father's Day dinner.  I was surprised that Dad was able to go but he wanted to and I think he really enjoyed seeing the kids.

Then on Monday, I returned to Illinois.  This time, I kept the kids in the morning and would run them over to the daycare a little before nine.  Then I would come back and pick them up in the afternoon.  My intention had been to take the kids on a train ride to Jeff City but that fell through so on Wednesday, I kept both kids with me and we went to see How to Train Your Dragon 2, out to eat at Red Robin's and then over to the children's museum in Edwardsville.  We had a blast that day.  We also went to the popcorn store on Thursday after I picked them up in the afternoon.  All in all it was an awesome time with the Knight Family.  The only little mar in the vacation was that on the Wednesday before I came home, Duane called me.  He had a partially detached retinia and was going to have emergency surgery in order to save his eyesight.  There wasn't anything I could do but pray that all would go well with the surgery.  It also meant that he would not be flying to St. Louis and driving back to Arizona with me.

After talking it over and going through all of the options, it was decided that Shannon would drive back to Arizona with me and I would fly her home to Illinois.  She and I left a little before noon on Friday and we drove all the way to Shamrock, Texas.  It was a long drive but we made it to our hotel before 11 p.m.  It was a nice Holiday Inn and I would stay there again without any hesitation.  The next morning we were on the road by 7 a.m and on our way to Arizona.  We got into Phoenix a little before 5 and I took over for Michael.  Michael and Shannon were able to spend a lot of time together from the time we got there until she flew out on Sunday.

Since being home, I have done very little.  The first week and a half involved taking care of Duane.  His company did a big shake up the 30th of June and laid off more than half of his department.  I am pretty sure he will not lose his job at Epiq because they lost several project managers to retirement and moving to other jobs so they are short handed but until we get to the end of the year, we are kind of taking it slowly.  Greg and Angus, his two favorite bosses are gone so the environment is very different than it was.  Duane also lost his right hand guy too so he is back to being the only project manager for product management.

I did go into school and interviewed a gal who is coming on board with us in the fall but I have not done anything else.  Tomorrow and Tuesday I have my annual AT conference.  The difference this time is that I am going to the resort and staying there instead of driving back and forth.  It is very close to Duane's work and so he is staying with me too.  When the conference is over, I will have to put in a few hours at school almost every day to get ready for August 4th.  I have hurt my back so I am hoping that by August 4th it is better and I will be able to do the things I want to do at school.

Five years from this month I will not be preparing to go to work this fall if all goes as planned.  It seems so far and yet so near.  It doesn't seem that long that I was counting down the years to my 80 points and here I've got those.  (930 contract days!)  I wonder how I will be feeling then????

Okay fall of 2014...here I come!

Duane is watching tv and for some reason I am just not in the mood for it; thus, here I am writing.

I went to Missouri the end of March to spend some time with my dad.  I was able to spend part of the weekend with Shannon and her family.  As always, I had a blast with the kids but Chris got sick and was in bed most of the weekend I was there.  Thank goodness I was there because that allowed him to rest, assured that the children were taken care of and it also allowed Shannon to do the things that she had scheduled before I decided that I was going to Missouri.

On Sunday, Shannon, the kids and I went to Centralia.  I knew things were not good as soon as I laid eyes on Dad.  He has become very frail and he was very very quiet.  It is hard to know if he was quiet because he was overwhelmed, his hearing loss is worse, or if he couldn't follow the conversations.  Alyssa and Colin were as good as gold.  They played with each other and tried to interact with Dad a little.  They weren't quite sure why they were going home and I was staying but they dealt well with it all.

After they left, I had two and a half days with Dad.  He slept a lot, he repeated conversations over and over, he smoked with his oxygen on, and he never fixed himself bacon and eggs for breakfast.  He also has stopped believing the calendar.  He will look at it and think that there has been a conversation that "changed" what is written.  When I pointed out to him that was not true, he was sure I was wrong.   I talked to him of moving out of the house. At first he was very defensive but then he started to talk to me about it.  He thinks because he gets up in the morning, gets dressed and fixes himself food, that he is okay to be there.  He doesn't see that the life he has is really no life at all.  Its almost like being in a home of some sort but without the people.  I spoke to him about how unsafe it was to smoke with his oxygen on and his response was, "It isn't if you are careful."  That statement scared me too!

I spoke to Charla about Dad on two different occasions and she is all for keeping him in the house "as long as she can".  It scares me to think that this is how it is going to be for him.  She is pretty convinced that if he is sleeping, he is safe in the house.  She says he still "has his mind" and it would take a lawyer to get him out of the house.  Her solution is to wait until he is hospitalized and then when the doctor/social worker/ someone says he can't go back home, then we will place him somewhere...She stated that this is how it was done for Grandma and Mom.  She thinks that is how it will be done for Dad too.

By the time I left Dad's I was sick.  I had strep throat, ear infection and a sinus infection.  I didn't know that for several days but missed my first two days back to school because of it.  I still haven't gotten completely over it.  I still have a sore throat and a cough.  I've been back to a doctor but now she feels that it is a virus.  Let's hope I can get over it soon because I am pretty tired of this silly illness.  Unfortunately, Duane may be coming down with it now.

And finally, my oldest baby turned 30 yesterday.  Its hard to believe that she has entered her third decade.  I can not even begin to put in words how proud of her I am.  She is a fabulous mother and wife, she is a successful business owner, and a person that brings joy to so many.  For me, she is a person who has brought me so many blessings that I no longer can keep track of them.  I am very grateful that God has allowed me the privilege of being Shannon's mother.  I can imagine no other daughter as wonderful as her.

Well, that's all for now...:)

Strong Women

I was going to blog away about things that have happened since the last time I blogged but I just read my daughter's post and it got me to thinking about the strong women in my family.  I'll start with my Grandma Shores.

Grandma Shores (Irene Thrailkill Shores) was a farm girl.  Her parents were wealthy by the standards of the day, owning several hundred acres of land in Clark, Missouri.  She had 2 sisters and all 3 girls were the talk of the town as each of them were beautiful in their own rights.  My grandma walked to school  everyday with her second or third cousin, my grandfather.  As time went on they fell in love and decided to marry.  By her wedding day, she was in a family way with my Aunt Christine.  Of course, her reputation suffered by this occurrence but she and my grandfather went on with the wedding.  My grandparents did very well for themselves.  They bought their own farm and started to raise their own cattle.  They had a son soon after their daughter was born and then they waited several years before they had another daughter and a couple of years later a son, my father.  They loved the farm and their lives and they had the world by the tail.  Then in the mid 1930's the stock market crashed and my grandfather lost his farm and all of his cattle.  They were basically homeless and they only had what they could take out of their house that they didn't owe something on.  They found a house to rent and my grandfather found a job selling coal.  He would walk the streets of Clark with a little wagon selling coal.  While he was doing that, my grandmother was keeping her house and her family together.  She milked cows, gathered eggs, made biscuits, sewed clothes, and held it all together.  It took them several years of living this way and then finally Grandpa got a job with the post office.  Grandma faced a lot of adversity in her life and yet she was able to overcome all that life threw at her.    She lived to the ripe old age of 96.

Then there was my Grandma Truby.  Her life was really very nice until she was 18.  At 18 she fell in love with my Grandpa.  He was a fun loving bad boy...drinking, smoking, dancing, hanging out with lots of guys and girls.  I am not sure but I think Grandma was attracted to the "bad boy" type but she had no idea what she was getting herself into.  She and Grandpa married and a year later their first child, a boy, was born.  He was a "blue baby"and she was told that he wouldn't live a year.  For the first year of his life, she constantly thought that each day would be his last.  In spite of the predictions, he thrived and all was good that way.  However, my grandfather loved the drink and when he drank, he was mean.  He would yell, throw things, curse, break things...the only thing that he didn't do is beat his family.  There were stories of how Grandpa would take Grandma, who didn't drive, to town to buy supplies, and on the way home, he would decide he was thirsty and would stop at a tavern to get "just one drink".  That might be at 2 or 3 in the afternoon.  Grandma would stay in the truck with the three kids and still be in the truck at 2 or so in the morning while Grandpa boozed it up and danced with any woman in the tavern who would dance with him.  When Grandpa was sober, apparently he was the kindest, hardest working man with the greatest sense of humor you could ask for.  When he was drunk, he was the meanest bastard ever put on the Earth.  When I was born, when Grandpa was 52 years old, he decided he would never touch alcohol again.  Unfortunately, for him and Grandma, that was too late.  He already had prostrate cancer which wasn't diagnosed for several more years and he died at 57.  He left Grandma with a very small railroad pension and his social security check.  This woman never complained about her life.  She found silver linings in everything much to my amazement.  She could have been bitter about the life that was hers, but instead, she found joy in the simple things.  As an adult, I asked her once why she stayed with Grandpa when he was so awful to her while drunk and all she said was, "I don't remember or dwell on the bad times.  Our lives were filled with good times too and those are what I remember."  Life knocked her around in ways I am not sure I would or could have survived and yet, she was and always will be my inspiration.

My mom was also a strong woman.  She really didn't have a lot of "horrible" things to deal with in her life other than growing up with my grandfather.  However, her final years were no walk in the park.  She had a spinal cord infarction on June 19, 2009, and that left her in a wheelchair.  Her faith and hope that she would walk again never wavered.  Even 3 weeks before she passed away, she told me how she was going to cook for me when she could stand up again.  My mom's spirit was one of great determination and drive.  Whatever Mom wanted she was bound and determined to get; and she usually did.

Now, I look at my daughter.  This bright light in my heart, in my life, in my world.  She married the love of her life at 20, had her first child at 24 and her second at 26.  Being so close together, there was no doubt that the children would keep her busy.  But, when teaching didn't work out for her, did she lie down and cry?  Nope, she got herself together and opened her own daycare.  Within months, she needed a helper and within a year, they needed a substitute /part time helper.  Then they were able to open a day care in a church and she did it almost single handedly while her partner was battling her own health issues.  She did all that while coping with her second child's ongoing health problems too.  There are days when she feels overwhelmed and hopeless because the doctors either can't agree on treatments for Colin or they throw their hands up and admit they have no answers.  But does she hang her head and cry?  No!  She keeps pushing, knowing that she HAS to find an answer for her son.  Now her husband is going to be sent to a distant job site with his work.  She will have to keep her business going, raise two children and stay on top of her son's health issues alone while Chris is away.  But I know that she has the genetic makeup that will allow her to succeed.  Like my grandmothers she will find her way through and around this maze we call life.    When it is done and someone asks her how she did it, she will be like my Grandma Truby who remembered only the good times and put the hard/bad times behind her.  She comes from a long line of good women and she is a proud reflection of what they have left to her.

Don't Faint

Two blogs in the same month!  I have always liked keeping a diary and usually, I will write periodically.  At school I have a notebook full of thoughts from 2003 forward but now I am so busy at work, that I seldom have the 30 minutes or so it takes to write things down.  So, while I am not sure it is completely "gone", I do think I need to find another venue for recording my thoughts.  So here I am.

This has been such a nice weekend.  Michael left for Flagstaff on Friday.  While Michael seldom interferes with anything Duane and I want to do it has been nice this weekend to know that we are just "us".  Yesterday we spent the day taking down Christmas decorations and putting them away.  For once, we were so darned organized and we got the chore done in less than 2 hours.  Then Duane went to work on his computer things (photography and video) and I cross stitched.  About every two hours we would yell something to each other and then resume what we were doing.  Michael's cross stitch Eagle is now two thirds done and I am more than halfway done with the page I am currently working from.  Two more pages after that and it will be finished.  Maybe I will have it done by March if I am lucky.

Today, Duane and I got up early and went out to breakfast.  Usually, we take Vina to breakfast with us but today it was just us.  After breakfast we came home and I dropped Duane off so I could go to the grocery store.  I got home in time to call Dad and since then have been working on bills and budgets. We have a financial plan and it is fun to sit and play with the plan to make it more efficient.

Duane has meat on the slow cooker and I must be smelling it because my stomach is starting to growl.  I am going to end here and go in search of a snack to hold me over.

Did I mention that it has been such a nice weekend?

New Beginnings in 2014:

It is January 1, 2014.  A new year...a time of new promise...each year we start "again" but soon after, we fall into the same ole routine with the same ole thoughts facing the same ole problems..so "new" doesn't really seem "new" after a few weeks, or days or sometimes even hours...but "new" it truly is.

This year, I will turn 57.  This year I will celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary to Duane.  This year my granddaughter will turn 5 and my grandson will turn 4.  This year my daughter will turn 30 and my son will turn 27...GET OUT!  This year will be the third year anniversary of my mother's passing.  This year I will achieve my 80 points with the Arizona Retirement System meaning I can retire with full benefits.  This year I will face an amazing number of WOW's! and an equal number of sad or down times.  Some of them will lift me up and keep me flying for quite some time and some will have the ability to knock me into a valley of such deep chasms that it may take me some time to climb out.  This year my father will turn 85.  What an amazing life that man has lived!  This year is a year of endless possibilities.

I am blessed.  I know I am.  I have an amazing life, amazing family, amazing friends.  I have had such a feeling of deep contentment, peace and love for this past month and am astounded that it survives with all the stuff that goes on around me.  Yet, this feeling has been my rock during the drama of the season and at work and when things haven't gone "my way".  I sit in my chair and close my eyes...within minutes if floods my soul and soothes away the anxiety.  How I wish I could share this feeling with others but I don't know how.  I just hope that God uses me to teach others how to achieve what I feel here.

I don't know where 2014 will take me but I will try to take this blog along with me and it.  As Shannon said in her blog; I'd like to look back on it and remember where I've been and what I've done.  So here's to New Beginnings of 2014!

I'm not a good blogger

I'm not a good blogger.  I know I should write more and keep things up to date but for some reason its not what I think about when I get on the computer.  I do keep a diary that I write in a little more often but even it has its huge lags.

I've started my 9th year with Cave Creek.  That seems so impossible.  I don't feel like I've been there 9 years.  I had 13 years in Chandler and that was just yesterday.  Where has the time gone?  The biggest milestone that I will hit this year is achieving my 80 points in the retirement system.  That means I can retire with full benefits...everything.  Now for every year I work, I work towards upping my percentage so that I can bring home just a little more money when I finally do retire.  That is looking to be in about 6 years.  If the next 6 years goes as fast as the previous 9 years, my next blog might be about my retirement!!

Grandkids are doing well.  Colin will undergo his next surgery to have his laryngeal cleft repaired on October 14th.  I will go back to Missouri and look after Alyssa while Colin and Shannon are in the hospital.  I am hoping that he has an easy time of it and is home before the week is over.  After that, I will go to Dad's so that I can see for myself how things are going with him.  If Colin does well the first week, I will get to spend almost a full week with Dad.  Now I just have to make my airline reservations.

The weather is finally starting to cool down some.  It is still warm during the day but the humidity seems to be dropping and the nights are starting to cool off some.  i always like it from October to about April.  That is when living in Phoenix is second to none.

Well, I'm going to end here.  It isn't a long blog but it is at least something!!

:)

A New Year

I know the year starts in January and here it is March 19th and I'm starting out with "A New Year".  Well, this is going to go from March 19th, 2013 to March 19th, 2014.  I am starting out doing two new things simultaneously and hoping they both work out for me.

A few years ago, I lost a lot of weight on the Optifast Diet.  I was very happy with my weight but felt like I should lose more.  But I got stuck...and then I got upset because Duane was losing like a house was on fire and my weight had plateaued.  So, I gave up trying.  I continued to exercise for a bit of time and that helped my weight to stabilize but I stopped making good food choices and then I stopped exercising regularly.  I would go on exercise bends that would last anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks, but then I would find an excuse to not work out.  In the meantime, I continued to make poor food choices.

I watch The Biggest Loser and think...boy, if only I had access to a daily trainer....if only I had a lot of money so I could take the time off....and could I even keep up with the pace The Biggest Loser sets?  I also listen to them say, "If I can do it, you can do it, and I think....oh if only it were so easy...."  So season after season, I watch and wish.

A few weeks ago, Duane was lamenting about his weight.  He, too, has regained some of his weight...not as much as me, but he's still put on some weight.  He wanted to go back on the OptiFast but financially, it was going to be hard.  However, I have been saving money to put down on his sports car.  When he was talking about it seriously, I told him the only way I could see us making it work was if he gave up his sports car from this fall and used that money for Optifast.  He decided that he was going to do that.

So yesterday he went back to Scottsdale Weight Loss Center.  It may have been a blessing in disguise.  As Dr. Z was doing is EKG, he found that Duane's heart is starting to be somewhat compromised.  We still don't quite understand what is going on completely but Duane does need to make an appointment with a cardiologist and find out what is going on.  Since his brother died of a heart attack several years ago and his sister has heart problems, it is not too far fetched to think that Duane might have some issues in that regard too.

When he made his decision to go back to Scottsdale Weight Loss Center, I made a decision to tackle my weight issues a different way.  On the next to the last show of The Biggest Loser, Bob was wearing a shirt that said, " 3 days on, 1 day off, 365 days year".  I took that to mean 3 days of exercise, 1 day off, all year round, so that is my plan as Duane is doing his Optifast.  Today he started his shakes and I started my exercise routine.

I am going to blog it all year long to keep it all in perspective for me...where I start, what I do, how long I do it and if I am making any progress at all.  I will not lose weight as fast as Duane will; I know that...but if I can build endurance, build muscle, lose weight, make my feet feel better...maybe he and I will eventually be in the same healthy spot.

So Day 1:
Weight in the a.m.:  296.8
Exercise:                Treadmill for 45 minutes
Speed:                   2.4 for 14 minutes, 2.7 for 30 minutes, back to 2.4 for remainder
Incline:                   Rolling Hills (ranged between 0.0 and 3.0 inclines)
Calories burned:    192
Distance                1.72 miles

Tune it to see how Day 2 goes!!!